Learning that girls are real, individual humans is an effective way to undermine it.

Teenage boys arrived at my sessions prepared, with hate-fuelled arguments about lying women and false rape accusations. These are red flags, suggesting they've already encountered 'manosphere' content. First there is MGTOW, for “Men Going Their Own Way” – their own way being, hopefully, nowhere near women, who are all liars and cheats. But this particular kind of grooming seems to escape our attention entirely. and lefts.'. PUAs profit from workshops teaching shy men how to insult women to get their attention and try their luck. They didn't want to talk. One mother has written for an online paper about how her 13-year-old son found himself sucked into extremist online groups, which provided him with a sense of community and treated him like an adult when he felt dismissed and lonely. 'Like adding cherry flavour to children's medicine,' wrote Andrew Anglin, the founder of one such website. Both groups, Bates points out, essentially think of women as slot machines for sex. They already knew that 'feminazis are out to destroy men'. In a 'style guide', a leading figure in this deeply misogynistic and racist online world says his followers should specifically look for boys aged ten and up. Pictured: File photo. The comments below have not been moderated.

But a lot of parents have little idea of the content their children might be accessing. Or that the gender pay gap is a feminist conspiracy. “The difference is that incels regard the machines as rigged,” she writes, while aspiring PUAs hope “to learn the exact secret combination of buttons to push and levers to pull, in order to trick the machine into paying out every time.”. It is quite twisted stuff."[4]. After I realised just how many of the stories came from young people, it became clear that we needed to have conversations about these things in schools, something that largely wasn't happening at the time. In one of her many surgically sardonic asides, Bates comments that MGTOW, like most of the other anti-feminist groups out there, possesses “the special quality of being a group supposedly exclusively devoted to men, whose near-total focus is women”.

We are no longer accepting comments on this article. The diet foods that contain MORE calories than standard products including Weight Watchers bread and... JENNI MURRAY: Making IVF a work perk is a cynical betrayal of women. The spaces boys frequent online, from bodybuilding forums to gaming channels, are used as a kind of hunting ground. Tragically, those who might have real fears and anxieties are likely to be met with vitriol and extreme opinions. A 2018 Ofcom report revealed that more than 450,000 children aged 12 to 15 spend six to eight hours a day online at weekends. 5. Published: 22:05 GMT, 2 September 2020 | Updated: 22:05 GMT, 2 September 2020. In the 1970s, the anti-feminist “men’s rights” movement was born, including one US group called the National Coalition for Men. Men Going Their Own Way like to hang out with other men going the same way on forums or YouTube, where they happily converse for hours and pages about exactly the thing they are supposedly pledged to avoid. The same mother wrote: 'When we did confront Sam — say, if we caught a glimpse of a vile meme on his phone — he assured us that it was meant to be funny and that we didn't get it.'. There were nervous giggles and a few outrageous comments.

One mother contacted me in horror after she heard a man shouting 'feminism is cancer' over the speakers as her teenage son played a popular game online. As Bates shows, moreover, sexism and anti-immigrant rhetoric often go hand in hand, via the conspiracy theory that foreigners challenge the rightful supremacy of the white male. And by then, the gradual drip-drip of online misogyny had become so normal that even content inciting rape and violence didn't seem shocking any more. "[4], During an interview for The Daily Telegraph in April 2014, Bates said: "All feminism means to me is that everyone should be treated equally regardless of their sex. He wrote: 'All women needs to die and hopefully next time I can gauge [sic] their eyeballs out.'. Encouraging teenage boys to dehumanise their female peers is the thin end of the wedge. The boys were neo-Nazis, but they also ran blogs advocating the rape, torture and murder of women. . Bates agrees that the phrase is problematic, but, as she wryly asks towards the end of her book, why should she and her sisters have to do all the work of detoxifying language, and men themselves? Incoming First Lady's $5,690 Oscar de la Renta dress worn at Saturday's victory event... Who'll find love on our blind date? As. This deliberate targeting of children ought to be described as radicalisation. Many incels worship the mass murderer Elliot Rodger, whom they call “the perfect gentleman” for going on a woman-killing spree in revenge for sexual rejection in 2014. . Encourage them to talk and provide a non-judgmental space in which to listen. The pitiful irony here, as Bates shows, is that “men’s rights” groups splintered from the original, pro-feminist “men’s liberation” movement, which sought to free men themselves from harmful social expectations of masculinity. Laura Bates BEM FRSL (born 1986) is an English feminist writer. Laura Bates BEM FRSL is an English feminist writer.

6. ', 'They enjoy it even if they say they don't.' Her first book, Everyday Sexism, was published in 2014. The Jill Biden effect! A picture of a woman with a black eye and the caption: 'Women deserve equal rights . In the 1970s, the anti-feminist “men’s rights” movement was born, including one US group called the National Coalition for Men. With it was a symbol from the Tomb Raider game. Bates was awarded the British Empire Medal in the 2015 Birthday Honours for services to gender equality. They were interacting with an extremist, mainly online movement encompassing a number of groups and communities, from 'incels' ('involuntary celibates', who believe attractive women should be punished for denying them sex), to men's rights activists, who argue that the world is stacked against men. Many were introduced via Instagram meme accounts and YouTube videos. When I talked to some schoolboys, their reference points and the figures they quoted made it clear that they were already immersed in these communities. You're just playing into her fantasy.

From inner city London to rural Scotland, teenage boys — usually aged around 15 — came out with the same arguments, word for word.

The answer was always the same: online. It is a network of websites, forums and platforms, with hundreds of thousands of members. . And: 'If she's not conscious IT AINT RAPE [sic].'. The problem was, his new online friends were also 'happy to explain that all girls lie — especially about rape'. So I visited hundreds of schools, giving young people an opportunity to discuss their own experiences, gender roles, sexism and more. until it isn't.

The cloak of humour and 'irony' is powerfully used to convince teens that what they're looking at is all just a bit of fun . We are familiar with the challenges posed by pornography, but there are other dangers facing our boys (and, by extension, our girls), that we don't even realise exist. Where did they hear this? They weren't prepared to listen. [11], Bates married Nick Taylor in 2014. Indeed, if it were any other group, it would be.

But first she guides the reader through the various hellish circles of what she terms the “manosphere”. Photograph: Sarah Lee/The Guardian And this stuff filters upwards through friendly media and middlemen such as far-right commentator Milo … She founded the Everyday Sexism Project website in April 2012. "It's not about men against women, but people against prejudice. Damaging male behaviour has for a while been called “toxic masculinity”, but the problem with accusing people like Johnson of toxic masculinity is that what they will choose to hear is a) that they are very masculine (jolly good! From inner city London to rural Scotland, teenage boys — usually aged around 15 — came out with the same arguments, word for word. She founded the Everyday Sexism Project website in April 2012. Take, for example, over 15 different queries from users of that forum, all asking: 'Is it rape if .

That longing for community and respect is understandable in teens.

We might not use the word terrorism to describe the acts of these men when they slaughter women in the name of their ideology, but that is what it is. Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates (£16.99, Simon & Schuster) is out today.

Men, especially white ones, they said, were the real victims in society. It should go without saying that no teenage boy is automatically sexist or woman-hating. When Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed for the Supreme Court despite allegations of sexual assault, Donald Trump said he supported “men and justice”, a clear dogwhistle to the misogynist demographic that believe they are victims of a vast feminist conspiracy. Afficher les profils des personnes qui s’appellent Laura Bates. Laura started working in schools eight years ago, after creating the Everyday Sexism Project.

"[1] "A man can be a father, a doctor, a politician, a lawyer, without his sex being an issue or being commented on", Bates told Anna Klassen of The Daily Beast website. ), and b) that masculinity itself is fundamentally poisonous (which proves that the speaker must be a crazed man-hater). But they hadn't necessarily gone looking for them. In this way, aspiring PUAs are very like “incels”: men who think of themselves as “involuntarily celibate” because women won’t sleep with them. From pick-up artists to incels … a journey through the ‘manosphere’ explores the radicalisation of misogynist men, Last modified on Wed 2 Sep 2020 19.33 BST, Some men have for years been trying to deny women the right to their own safe spaces.

They might have liked an 'ironic' Instagram meme, for example, before following a link down a rabbit hole of increasingly extreme content about women stealing men's jobs. Ultimately, this is tragic: both for the boys and young men who are exploited and offered hate instead of support, and for the young women and girls who find themselves on the receiving end of the vitriol some of their male peers learn online. Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group, PrettyLittleThing - Offers on women's clothing, Get inspired by the newest styles and offers, Click through for ASOS promo codes this Autumn, Spend less with Missguided's exclusive codes, Treat yourself to offers on make-up and accessories, Check out the latest Wayfair sale to save on furniture.

[2] In June 2018 Bates was elected Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature in its "40 Under 40" initiative. 2. At a West Midlands school the boys plotted in advance and wolf-whistled in unison as I walked out on to the assembly hall stage. Bates remained in Cambridge for two and a half years as a researcher for the psychologist Susan Quilliam who was working on an updated edition of The Joy of Sex. I spoke to a teacher of 14 to 18-year-old pupils at an inner-London comprehensive, who told me: 'There's a significant, dangerous lack of awareness from parents and teachers.